2012 Dyess Airshow

This weekend was the Dyess Airshow. We missed it last year, due to being in Ohio to pick Brydon up, so it was exciting to see our first Airshow as members of the military. Brydon had to work all day inspecting food booths and being a medic in case of a catastrophe, but we did get a chance to walk around with him for a little while. Caleb loved getting to go inside all the different airplane! I enjoyed watching the airplanes and getting to see them in action. Fortunately the weather cooled down from our 103 degrees earlier in the week and it was only in the high 80's. It was a beautiful, sunny day and we had a great time being proud of the amazing things our military can do.

Checking out the C-17 with our new friend Landan. This plane can hold up to 6 T-Rex's and is HUGE! Caleb loved getting to push buttons and sit in the pilot seat.

The back of the C-130. It felt much bigger when I rode in one in the fall, but after the C-17 it seems pretty small. Caleb loved getting to go inside the plane I got to fly in.

The B-1 was available to climb up and just look inside the cockpit. It is rare to see this plane opened up for viewing. Caleb was excited to go check it about but decided that the stairs were a little steep and very scary.

The B-2 is a pretty amazing airplane. It looks like a bat or a spaceship and is so quiet. It was fun to actually see one in the air! Apparently the real treat of the day was seeing the new F-22. It is meant to replace the F-16 but is such a fast, hard airplane to fly that pilots physically struggle to fly it. Their bodies can't handle its abilities. Obviously a very manly airplane! At the very end of the day, the F-22 did get to do an unrestricted take off. Many of the Airmen (my husband included) are still a bit giddy about getting to see that plane in action.

Checking out the Marine vehicles. Every boy wants to drive a truck like that!

One of the airplane stunt man. I can't even imagine what it would be like to fly around like that. I think I would be sick!

The Army Paratroopers! They put on a great show and are amazing at what they do.

It is fun to see all the different airplanes and get to watch a piece of history.

Of course we have to show off the B-1. Dyess's claim to fame! This is a sight we see almost daily living on base but it was a treat to see them land and show off a bit. It is a "sexy" aircraft that has dropped over half of the bombs used in both Iraq and Afghanistan. Just a fly-by with this plane is enough to humble the enemy.

Tora, Tora, Tora

The highlight of the Airshow for me was a presentation called Tora, Tora, Tora. It featured 9 Japanese fighters who performed a reenactment of the bombing on Pearl Harbor. A narrator talked about that fateful morning while sirens blared, planes dived and swarmed, and bombs exploded on the ground. We were told stories of heroism, death, and irony. In the end they described how America came together to fight in World War II to defend democracy. It was an amazing show of arms and a unique glimpse of history. And yep, pretty much had me in tears! Especially as they addressed the men and women currently fighting and how proud we are of our amazing men and women in the Armed Forces. It all hits very close to home now.

Nothing like a fantastic Airshow to make you proud to be an American and a member of the

United States Air Force!

Infertility and Adoption Awareness

Did You Know........

• That 1 in 8 couples suffer from Infertility

• The average cost of an adoption in the U.S. is $15,000. Foreign adoptions can be between $30,000-$50,000 and often take 6 months to a year with 2-3 visits to the country before you can take your child home.  There are currently tax incentives that can help offset these costs but they will end at the end of this year, unless they are renewed.
•  "Data for 1995 on the rates of marriage, adoption, single parenting, abortion, and miscarriage suggest that among single women ages 15 to 44 who became pregnant, 12% chose marriage, 0.4% adoption, 37% single parenting, 39% abortion, and 11.5% had a miscarriage." Families Supporting Adoption, 2002.


• "In 2007, there were 279.4 abortions for every 1,000 live births, or about 28 abortions per 100 live births in the United States in 2007." Adoption Factbook V, National Council for Adoption, 2011.


• "There were only 4.2 domestic infant adoptions per 1,000 live births in American in 2007." Adoption Factbook V, National Council for Adoption, 2011.
•  "There were 10.3 adoptions per 1,000 nonmarital live births in 2007. . .indicating that about one percent of unmarried mothers chose adoption for their infants, and over 99 percent parented the baby." Adoption Factbook V, National Council for Adoption, 2011.

Is the saying "May the Odds be Ever in Your Favor" running through anyone else's mind right now? 

•  "The data also indicate that, while the vast majority of of internationally adopted children were adopted by strangers, nearly half of children adopted within the United States were adopted either by a relative or by someone else who knew them previously." Adoption Factbook V, National Council for Adoption, 2011.


• "Marital status, age, and education level of a child's mother are predictors of a child's opportunity for the right start to life.  Children born to singe teenage mothers are less likely to obtain the emotional and financial resources the need to develop into independent, productive, well-adjusted adults.  Babies born to teens reflect a group of children who will have to overcome high odds to thrive.  Children growing up with a single mother are more likely to drop out of school, to become pregnant out-of-wedlock if they are girls, or become involved in delinquent behavior if they are boys, to divorce or separate, and to depend on welfare."  Families Supporting Adoption, 2002.

So What Can You Do........

1. Be Sensitive and Aware of Couples Who Suffer with Infertility.  Check out this amazing article "Infertility Etiquette".  It is great article about being more sensitive and aware of what you say and how to support friends suffering from infertility.  I actually have a few people in my life I would love to have read this. I don't think that people really think about how hurtful and harmful to a relationship their comments can be.  In our case I can most definitely say that the people, who were supposed to be the closest to us and the most supportive, have said the the most harmful and hurtful things.  Infertility leads a couple down a path they never dreamed of and were completely unprepared for.  It is filled with very personal, emotional, financial, physical, and moral choices and burdens, and each couple must choose the path that they can live with in the end.  Educate yourself!
2. Become an Adoption Advocate!  Speak up about the joys and positives of adoption.  Join your local chapter of Families Supporting Adoption,  Find out what you can do the spread awareness.  I never dreamed that abortions really happened as much as they do.  I have never known anyone who had one and so I had no idea that so many woman felt that was their only option.  I also don't think that many woman realize what the world of adoption can do for them.  How much control they have over where the child will be placed or that they can have a relationship with their child and the family they are placing a baby with.  Sometimes taking responsibilities for your actions or your mistakes really is doing what is best for the innocent child involved, and giving that baby a chance to have a mother and a father is an amazing, self-less gift of love.  Speak up!
3. Check out these real life stories here.  When we first talk to people about adopting we will often here, "I just don't know how any woman could give up her baby.  I could never do that!".  I challenge you to listen to these stories, and believe me, you have never heard such powerful stories of "True Love".  Adoption really is about love and these woman are heroes who love their babies more.

The Paper Pregnacy

I recently learned that it is Infertility Awareness Week and I thought it would be appropriate to finally get this post posted. 

I have been meaning to write this post for some time now, but just haven't found the time. My goal was to write this the end of February (which was our 1 year mark of working with LDSFS), but I always go with the philosophy of better late than never!

When we first walked into the LDS Family Services office in Dallas over a year ago, we were uneasy and unsure of what we were in for.  We paid our money, talked to our case worker, and came home with a pile of readings and paperwork to fill out.  I remember turning to the first page in one of our readings and seeing an article titled "The Paper Pregnancy".  I laughed.  Having gone through pregnancy and working to recover from failed invasive and grueling infertility treatments, I found this to be a strange comparison at the time.  Well we have learned much throughout this year and I wanted to make sure I recorded a piece of our journey.

It was overwhelming to see the mound of paperwork we had to fill out to begin the process to be approved for adoption. Physicals, FBI background checks, birth certificates, CPR training, home floor plans, pet vaccination records, and on and on. Then our agency and the state required over 120 questions that each of us had to answer separately. These questions involve things from our height and hair color, to our education, to each member of our family's education, to the parenting style our parent's used, to how we are coping with infertility, and how we and our families feel about adoption. Some questions get very personal and are difficult to answer, and some ask more about our families and upbringing then I ever thought they would. Some of the most difficult questions involved questions about our potential child. What races were we comfortable adopting, what ages, sibling groups (including twins), and what medical conditions could the baby, mother, and father have. The medical conditions were the most difficult. There were so many! They ranged from seasonal allergies to HIV, Cancer, and AIDS. We really struggled with how to answer these questions. Did I want a child with HIV? No. But could I choose to adopt one? I would find myself feeling guilty over any boxes we checked "No". We wanted a baby, and I would never have given up Caleb just because he had a disability or disease. So how could I put stipulations on this child?  These were choices we didn't have to make when we could create a child on our own.  I was so grateful for an amazing caseworker who was willing to talk to us and help us decide the best path for our family. After much prayer and careful thoughtfulness, we were able to complete the paperwork within a few weeks.  We found this to be a very personal experience that will most definitely vary from family to family.  Just like many couples will make decisions about how many children to have and the spacing between each child, adoption has its own unique circumstances to consider. 

After all the paperwork was submitted then a home study was done. Our caseworker visited our home. He took a tour of the house and then interviewed each member of our family separately.  During the visit, we had time to talk to him and ask questions. We were fortunate to have a very kind caseworker.

When all the requirements are completed, you can then be approved for adoption. We were able to complete this process in about 4 1/2 months. Which is rather quick! Then came the time to figure out how to best advertise ourselves. Through LDS Family Services, we were given a web page that features a letter to a potential birth parent, pictures of our family, and random questions we answered about ourselves. We are now on about our 3rd draft of this web-page. It is more difficult to set up than I ever imagined.  What do you say to a potential birth parent?  What do they want to know about us?  We have also had to work on 8 hours of course work.  This course work involves anything from reading research articles about adoption and bonding, parenting techniques, coping with infertility, and so forth.  Each state varies on how many hours and how those hours may be completed.  We have found this requirement to be useful, informative, and helpful. 

At first it was difficult to share with everyone that we were adopting.  I don't know why, but I guess entering the world of adoption has felt like we have had to open up our whole life for everyone to look at and critique and have an opinion about.  It is not always easy to be that open.  I totally understand why it needs to be that way, and I know that the birth mothers have every right to know everything about our family.  But it does make you feel a bit vulnerable.  We have used pass along cards, our blog, email, and facebook to share with friends and family that we are adopting.  We have recently learned about websites we can pay to advertise with and have looked at other agencies we could possibly use.  It isn't easy to decide the best way to approach adoption.  It is an expensive and time consuming process and each family has to decide what is the best path for them and weigh the emotional and financial burdens.  Of course some of the best gifts are worth sacrificing the most for them.

I have learned some dear lessons through this journey. 

1.  The out pouring of love from family and especially our friends has been overwhelming.  I am always amazed when I get a note or am told of a friend who shared our information with a potential birth mother.  Weekly I hear of people who are praying for our family, or feel anxious and hopeful for our family to receive a baby.  I have received small mementos of hope and many notes of encouragement.  These always seem to come at times when I am particularly feeling inpatient and unhopeful.

I will never forget the time that Brydon and I really had to face the fact that we had infertility struggles.  Caleb was just barely 2 years old and Brydon was just beginning his Masters.  We had been trying to conceive a baby for a little over a year and had just been told that we needed to see a fertility specialist.  Brydon and I stayed up late talking about what to do and decided that we could not financially afford to have another child through fertility treatments and/or adoption.  We decided to no longer pray for a baby but to pray that we would be happy with the blessings God had given us and that we would find joy as a one child family.  That night we each prayed for that.  The next morning, Caleb insisted that he pray by himself.  He had never prayed on his own before and for his first independent prayer he began, "Heavenly Father, help mommy have a baby."  Four times that day we heard this prayer and for 3 1/2 years every single prayer (but a few when he got mad at Jesus) has included a plea for a baby.  And since that morning, we have worked to help answer that prayer to the best of our abilities. 

I find myself in awe that every time I begin to lose hope or question if God really wants our family to have another child, that someone always lends me their hope the next day.  I have yet to have a night that I have knelt down to pray and asked God if we needed to be done trying to have another child, that I haven't had my son or a sweet friend share a story or a strong feeling that they have had about us receiving a child.  Someone has always unknowing lent me their hope.  The love, support, and prayers in our behalf have been so humbling, and I am so grateful for the amazing people in our lives who look out for us and care of us so much.

2.  I have learned that adoption truly is a "Paper Pregnancy".  And just like any pregnancy, I have found myself surprisingly so in love with our future baby, I don't even know how to put it into words. 

It is true that I haven't experienced morning sickness with this child, but I have felt sick with worry and anxiety that our paperwork wouldn't be accepted or that we didn't present ourselves in a good  enough way or that we will never be picked. 

I have never felt this child kick inside my womb, but I have felt my heart burst has I have prayed and shed countless tears for this child. 

I have not had grueling doctors visits or pregnancy exhaustion, but I have filled out hundreds of question, met multiple requirements, and prepared more this child than my first.  My entire life from my childhood, intimacy in marriage, and our family philosophies and activities are all an open book now. 

There has been no false labor and difficult contractions, but I have heard of potential birth mothers who were told about us or situations where people have shared our news only to learn later that the women chose another family. 

I may not have to have those long feeling last few weeks, where the stretch marks have really taken full effect and the body is tired and sore.  But my heart and patience and faith have been stretched more than I ever dreamed. 

I will not have to go through a long hard labor and recovery, but I may have to watch a young girl do that for me and then watch as that same young girl sign paperwork .  Then with more love than I can imagine will hand that precious child over to me, to care and love.  I will watch her heart break as she provides a miracle for our family.  That is a love and trust that few will ever experience. 

This pregnancy has no due date and from the looks of things, will be longer than 9 months.  I don't know when it will end, but I do know that I love that baby just as if had grown it in my own womb

. 

And that when I hold that baby in my arms and look down into his or her eyes, I may not see mine or my husband's eyes, but I will see absolute love, sacrifice, and a precious miracle.  What more could I ask for? 

"Faith in God includes faith in His timing." Neal A Maxwell

And so now we just continue to wait and pray and hope.

First "Time Out for Women"

This past weekend, I was able to attend my first Time Out for Women conference.  It was so amazing!!  It was such a great experience, and I am so grateful I could go.  Nine women from our Ward carpooled down together and shared hotel rooms.  I was also able to attend with my entire Primary Presidency, which was great.  We are all such good friends and I love them all dearly.  What a great way to spend time together.

Before the evening session started Friday night, we went to the temple together.  I was able to go with both my councelors and a sweet new friend who works with us in Primary too.  It was one of my favorite visits to the temple.

The conference began Friday night, and we were able to hear from Dean Hughes (the author of the Children of Promise series), Heidi Swinton (author of Pres. Thomas S. Monson's biography), and listen to musical performances by Dallyn Vail Bayles (played Hyrum Smith in Joseph Smith:  The Prophet of the Restoration and has performed with the Broadway touring company in Phantom of the Opera and Les Miserables.

Heidi Swinton was probably one of my favorite speakers of the whole conference.  Her stories about Pres. Monson were very inspiring and she is a beautiful speaker.  I spent a lot of time crying that evening.  It was so inspiring. 

Our Group of Fantastic Ladies!  I am so glad we have all been able to became friends and could go together.

Saturday was filled with lots of laughter and more tears.  The musical performances were done by Mercy River.  These 3 woman are freinds and have 13 children between them.  They told stories, shared their testimonies, and sang some funny and many touching songs.  We also got to meet authors of Our Best Bites, Sara Wells and Kate Jones.  I use recipes from their blog often and love it. 

 

I even got them to sign my new cookbook :-)

We also heard from  Mary Ellen Edmunds (she is hilarious), Julie De Azevedo Hanks, D. Kelly Ogden, and Emily Watts.  The theme this year was "Seek the Good". 

Here are some of my favorite quotes and tidbits.

"Enjoy the little things for one day you may look back and realize they are the big things."

"Greatness is best measured by how the individual responds to the happenings in life that appear to be totally unfair, unreasonable, and undeserved."  Elder Marvin J. Ashton

"1. Sometimes good needs a catalyst  2. Good does not always reside in your comfort zone  3. Good often appears in disguise  4. Good takes patience  5. Good is primarily other-centered"

Emily Watts

"Heavenly Father's Will + Your Unique Gifts and Experiences = Your Authentic Self"

Julie De Azevedo Hanks

"1. Greatness is a choice  2. Goodness is contagious  3. Look for the good in others 

4. You were born good  5. Goodness can only happen because of and through Jesus Christ" 

Mary Ellen Edmunds

"Water cannot be drawn from an empty well and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children." 

Elder M. Russell Ballard

My Outstanding Primary Presidency. 
These women are the best and I love them to death.  They inspire me every day and I am so lucky to get to work with them and call them my friends.

It was so nice to spend time with amazing women, be inspired and uplifted, and have time to ponder ways to improve my life and do even better.  I am so glad I had this experience!

Hippity Hoppity Easter!

Holidays are most definitely a big deal in our family and we love to decorate. But while Christmas is Brydon's favorite, mine is most definitely Easter!  I love spring time and all the different colors and spring flowers.  I always thought I would get married in spring with all the beautiful spring flowers so a Christmas wedding was actually really hard for me to plan.  In spring you can have an assortment of roses, tulips, daisy's, and lilacs and it just all works.  At least for me!

I love having a wreath on the front door of this house.  It just works well with the house.  So I was excited to make this lilac wreath.  Nothing says spring to a South Dakota raised girl like lilacs.  I grew up around giant lilac bushes that were so beautiful in spring.  They have always been one of my favorite flowers.  I think it turned out pretty well.

The base sponsored a free Breakfast with the Easter Bunny and we got to get a fun picture with the Easter Bunny after our breakfast

A few hours later, they had the big 5-6 year old Easter Egg Hunt.  Caleb was excited to see some old friends.

We had to find a way to wait patiently for the event to start.

It was a beautiful Texas day and he sure had a lot of fun grabbing those eggs.

We were so excited to spend this Easter with Daddy.  He missed the last 2 Easters.  Two years ago, Caleb and I were in South Dakota helping Brydon's parents after his dad's prostate cancer surgery and his mom's shoulder surgery.  Last year, he was at a Public Health training in Ohio.  So we had so much fun with Daddy!

Egg dying is so much fun!  You forget how much kids really love to do it.

Easter morning didn't quite work out how we had planned.  Caleb ran into our run (we thought because he was excited to go down stairs) and informed us that he had just thrown up.  He did however find the energy to hunt for the eggs and Easter basket that the Easter Bunny had left for him. 

It wasn't always easy to find all the eggs with a sick tummy.  Poor guy!

We spent the rest of the day resting and taking shifts at church so Brydon and I could fulfill our callings.  I was sad that he didn't get to show off the cute Easter outfit, but was grateful it was only a short 24 hour bug.  We did get to have a nice dinner with our amazing friends/family that evening. 

Easter is such a wonderful time of year and I am so grateful for our Savior.  We spent the 12 days before Easter reading scriptures about Christ's last few days of life and talking about the true meaning of Easter.  I am grateful for my testimony that Christ Lives and Truly Loves us!