Our Infertility Journey

Obviously infertility is a daily part of our life now. I think like any major trial or loss in life, the pain dulls over time but the effects are there always. Sending my only child off to school has made me more aware of that. There will always be moments in our life that will hit us more that we had wanted more children. It isn't something I daily obsess about, but lately it has been on my mind more. And so I have decided to write about it. It is not always easy to talk about infertility. It can be a very private, interpersonal struggle that is often hard to put into words. But after such a long time, I am beginning to feel the need to share parts of our story and my thoughts on it. And so I will start at the beginiing.  As you may or may not know, we suffer from Second Child Infertility. We were able to conceive our son completely on our own in a relatively short amount of time. There were some minor complications at his birth (he got stuck), but nothing earth shattering. When Caleb was about 9 months old, we started trying for number 2. And then our infertility journey began.

After a few months, we did all the natural stuff. Temperatures and calendar marking and ovulation kits......Nothing. Then we decided to consult a doctor. Testing was done, a wrong diagnosis was made, and in the end I was very over medicated. Eventually more testing was done and the infertility doctor came into the picture. At the time test results showed that my right fallopian tube was blocked and possibly my other tube was not working properly. It was suggested that we try IVF and that we were fantastic candidates for it to work. Well after many more tests (and they not fun tests, they are very invasive on both spouses) and lots of pills and lots of shots (up to 4 a day), I became hyper stimulated. Meaning that my body over produced eggs to a dangerous level and I had to be on bed rest for 2 weeks.  We couldn't continue with the IVF at that point. A couple months later were able to continue with the rest of IVF round 1. More shots and pills. NOTHING! Then we embarked on IVF round 2 with more shots and pills. The doctor really wanted to get me pregnant with twins and really believed we were good, healthy candidates. NOTHING! By this point my body was completely out of whack, we were financially and emotionally worn out, spiritually tested, and we felt pretty hopeless. So we just stopped everything and tried to heal. A few months later we were informed of a girl who was possibly pregnant with twins (in the end it was only one) and wasn't able to care for them. We were eventually able to meet the couple and began the paperwork process to adopt. About the time we were beginning to feel hopeful that this was an answer to our prayers, we received a phone call letting us know that the mother had gone into early labor and the baby had died. Again we took time to heal, eventually graduate from school, and find a good job. After joining the military, we began to look into what our infertility options were through our insurance and in the area. We were referred to a specialist in Dallas. After more testing, we were told there was nothing wrong with either of us except possibly my blocked tube. So surgery was scheduled and this spring I underwent laparoscopic surgery. After it was all done the Doctor informed us that there was no blockage and that I had a beautifully, perfect pelvis for having babies. And so we found ourselves back at square one. Over four years of trying and yearning for a baby and nothing. And no physical reason why that blessing has been denied to us. In February, we were again approached about another possibility to adopt, and began the process through LDS Family Services to adopt. That particular situation never worked out but we have become approved for adoption and pray every day that a special birth mother may choose our family and bless us with something we cannot do on our own.

So we patiently wait to see if we will be blessed with more children and make the most of the life we have been given.  Everyday we cherish our beautiful son and I am so grateful for the opportunity I had to give birth to him.  He is our miracle baby!  And we all hope and dream for another miracle or two.

Caleb's First 1K

This weekend, Abilene featured the Optimist Club BalloonFest.  It was exciting to see the beautiful Hot Air Balloons floating around Friday night.  After a fun family night out, we stopped by the Park and saw a couple Hot Air Balloons lit up and got to watch glow-in-the-dark kites fly and perform drills.  The next morning, there was a 10K run and children's 1K fun run available.  Brydon and I really wanted to do the 10K together but couldn't decide who could be with Caleb.  And when Caleb heard about a race for kids, he was super excited and asked if he could race.  So we decided we would just focus on him and let him run in his first race.  He knows we have been training for a race in November and was really excited to get to run his own race.  He got up in the morning and got dressed in running clothes.  On the way there he was very serious and told us he was thinking about the race and how he wanted to win.  We talked about how running is something that is fun and the goal is just to finish.  Anyone who finishes is a winner.  So he then told us he wanted the goal to run the whole way.  We let him know that was a great goal but that it would be OK to walk and we just wanted him to finish and have fun.  And I am pretty sure he had a lot of fun!

All registered!  He loved that he got to be number 1!  They were wise and gave all children number 1!

Waiting to begin

We could tell he was nervous.  He got really quiet and serious.  He was one of the youngest kiddos running and you could tell he was just trying to take it all in.

On Your Marks, Get Set, GO!!!

That is a smile of pure joy!!!  He was having so much fun!

Dad running beside him cheering him on.  We both run along the edge cheering away (and taking pictures of course)!

Halfway there!  He is back there in the black shirt, excited that he is halfway!

The Finish Line!!  It was fun to see the line of people just yelling and cheering for all the kids.

I DID IT!!!

So excited he got a real medal!

Oh Yeah!!  I am Proud!  I Won!

I am going to wear this shirt and medal all day and even wear the medal to church the next day!
Isn't he CUTE!!!  Sure do love that boy and am so proud of him.  He can't wait to run his next race!

The Sunflower Harvest

Since we had the great opportunity of experiencing the hottest summer in history and huge drought, our little gardening projects did not work out so well. Our attempts at tomatoes, peppers, corn in a bucket, and onions were futile. Everything got fried to a crisp and died. The only thing that made it is one small batch of radishes and SUNFLOWERS. They did magnificently in the heat and were so fun to watch grow. We planted them under the kitchen window and they were beautiful. Caleb loved them! So for Family Night this week, we harvested our sunflowers. It was a lot of fun. We now have a large Ziploc bag of sunflower seeds. It wasn't much produce for all our gardening attempts but at least we got something out if it and the flowers were really pretty to have around.  This is something we will definitely do again next year.

We planted a smaller sunflower in the front and then the large in the back.  They got so high and were so big!

Caleb loved that they were bigger than anyone in our family.

Our Favorite!

Working to get all the seeds out with mom and dad

Our bucket full of seeds

All roasted after a night of soaking in salt water

Hmmmmm....they taste pretty good!

Dyess Air Force Ball

Last weekend was the Dyess Air Force Ball in celebration of the Air Force's Birthday.  We decided it was a great opportunity to get to dress up and have a fancy date.  I was fortunate to find a dress in town and then with the help of my amazing seamstress friend, add a little more to the sleeves to make it modest enough.  It was a fun dress to find and very different than anything I had ever worn.  Brydon got to finally wear his Mess Dress.  It is a really expensive uniform that I had actually never seen him in.  I sure think he looks awfully handsome though!!  Quite the Officer and a Gentleman.  This was my first official Air Force function and it was really neat.  The customs and courtesies are very patriotic and are a great tribute to our Armed Forces and to those that have suffered so much for our country.  The ball was held in one of the plane hangars and so was very hot, which was the only downer to the night.  Dinner was simple but nice and we had some great company.  The speaker was good and the official cutting of the Air Force Birthday cake with a sword was hilarious.  The best part was the dancing afterwards.  I don't think we have danced since our wedding so it was so fun to dance together all dressed up.  The DJ needed a little help getting some decent music to dance to, but we got to dance to our song and a few others by the time we called it a night.  We had a great time and enjoyed the chance to get all fancy!

 

  

West Texas Fair

Almost 2 weeks ago, we got the chance to experience the West Texas Fair. With our military ID we were able to get in free, so we decided that for Family Night we would have dinner at the fair and check it out. It was apparently a popular idea because we saw many people from church and eventually hooked up with one of the families. It was a fun night!

Apparently Smoked Turkey Legs are a big thing in West Texas.  We even saw them at Sea World and so decided we would try them at the fair.  The turkey legs are huge, so Brydon and I decided to just split one.  Most definitely a picture taking moment, and fairly tasty too!  We also got to get some roasted corn which is a favorite of ours.

The kids had a blast riding a few rides together and hanging out.  Got to love the Fair!

Ripley's Believe IT or NOT

While in San Antonio, we came upon a Ripley's Believe It or Not Odditorium. We were not very familiar with these, except we had see the show a few times. So we had to check it out. There was the Odditorium, a Wax Museum and a 4-D movie experience, but when they quoted us the price it was pretty spendy. I happened to ask if there was a military discount and there was a GREAT military discount. Ticket price for all events went from $28 per ticket to only $8. Wow!!! For that price, we decided to try it out. It was any interesting place. The Odditorium was amazing. Apparently Mr. Ripley as a man fascinated with the unusual around the world. He would find unique world traditions, strange historical facts, the record breaking feats or items, and just odd things from all over. It was super interesting. The wax museum was alright. It was interesting to see the likenesses of famous people and the pictures were fun. The 4D movie was really really fun and Caleb LOVED it! We got to go on a air board race and race down a snow hill. It was very cool. I don't know if the whole experience would have been worth $28 a person but was definitely great for the price we got to pay!

A double trunked elephant!  The two headed calf.

This Elk is made entirely of nails

A camel's bladder water bin

The Alamo made from Rattlesnake rattles

The Largest Tire

This is a beautiful Asian piece.  I can't remember what is is made from but it was so intricate.

The Titanic made from Matchbox Matches

The Eiffel Tower made of toothpicks and behind it is a "man made" flag.  Apparently some guy used to climb the pole and be a human flag. 

An interesting dress made of Birdies.

This man apparently was one of the stars of Ripley's show back in the day.  He could pull quite a face!

Such beautiful art painted on the wings of these butterflies.

A picture can't capture this moment very well, but it is a room where the walls are spinning around you and blinking lights.  The boys loved it!  I made it through once but about fell over.  It was crazy!

This was actually made in South Dakota.  It is a buffalo that has every inch inscribed with Native American symbols. 

Ancient torture masks.  Some of the ancient torture stuff was pretty creepy.  There was some interesting devices for woman to wear if their husbands thought they gossiped too much.  Not fun stuff.

I think this is the closest I will ever get to Edward Cullen.

Caleb was excited to see Batman.

We had to get Harry Potter!  Yes we are huge Harry Potter fans!

John Wayne in honor of my Dad :)

Our tribute to Philadelphia

Caleb is actually pointing at us.  Could he be the future President?

Look out it's a bird, it's a plane, no it's Super Caleb!!!