What did Brydon do for 2 years?

Well you may be wondering what Brydon did to receive a Master's in Public Health. For the past year, he has been working with an amazing professor, Dr. Jennifer Taylor, on a project for the International Association of Fire Chiefs. He has been evaluating their Near-Miss Reporting System to see how they can improve the system and what the current data in the system is telling them. This system is for any Firefighter that has a close call at work. So maybe someone almost fell threw the floor or there was a gas leak that could have exploded but didn't. When these occur, any firefighter in the nation can enter a report in the NMRS. The hope is that if enough data is collected then this system can help predict future problems before they happen. Brydon was able to give the IAFC many recommendations about how to fix the system and also found a few predictors for future hazards. It was a really big and complicated project that is now a 102 page book. He "rocked" his thesis defense(as quoted by his mentoring professor). I had the great opportunity to go watch him and it was so neat to watch him share everything he has accomplished in the past year. Below is a picture of Brydon with his poster presentation of his results.

Brydon's Graduation

Well he did! On June 11th Brydon graduated from Drexel University with a Master's in Public Health. It was a great day! We were fortunate enough to have Brydon's parents and his little sister and her husband come to the cermony and spend time with us. We are so proud of Brydon!

Finding Joy in Life

So the past few months have just not worked out like we had hoped. We did graduate but other than that we have no job, no way to even think about having more kids, student loans are running out, and there has been emotional stuff like family drama and dear friends moving away. Plus Brydon was just recently called as the 2nd Counselor in the Bishopric and it has us rethinking some of our future plans. Some days I do great and have lots of hope and faith, other days not so great and it is hard to remember that the Lord can see the big picture. But I have found some great things that have helped.

First is reading my scriptures every day. Even if it is a couple verses. Just the act of picking them up and reading a little everyday makes life a little easier to handle. I am more patient and less quick to anger.


A dear, amazing friend recommended this book to me and it really couldn't have been more perfect. Sis. Okazaki is an amazing woman who has weathered some very tough trials. Her attitude, stories, and quotes were very inspirational and a big help to me as I have come to accept the life I currently live.


Exercise is like taking my "happy pills" everyday. It helps me stay sane and I like myself better. I feel happier, more confident, and more productive when I have exercised. I miss running but the elliptical has become my new best friend. I can still get a great workout but my heel doesn't hurt as much after. It is amazing what just a little exercise can do for the brain.


Spending time with these wonderful people reminds me that there is very little in life you truly need to be happy. Their humble prays and powerful faith remind me of the power of the "refiner's fire". They have suffered so much and yet have an unwavering faith in Christ. They lead simple, poor lives and yet find so much joy. I am so grateful I get to have them in my home on a regular basis.


And of course, I saved the best for last. Everyday I get to spend time with my beautiful little family is a blessing. I am so grateful for the times we get to play and work together. It has not been easy to weather these storms together or to always understand each other, but I am grateful for family time and what it does for the soul.

The Death of Dreams

There are times to celebrate life and all its joys and blessings and a time to mourn the trials and heartaches that life throws at us. Today is a day to mourn the death of two of our most precious dreams. The death of being a doctor and of being parents to a baby girl.

Four weeks ago, Brydon was asked to interview at PCOM, a DO school here in Philly. We were so excited at the prospect of Brydon truly being able to become a doctor. He had excellent recommendations and even an inside pull, and it felt like it was truly an answer to our prayers. Every blessing and promise to be a physician was truly going to happen. The interview was tough but we felt like he had given it his all. He let them know that he could do this program and that he truly was qualified to be a physician someday. However, one week later as he returned home alone from visiting family, a rejection letter waited for him. The final NO. Now after two years of attempts to get into medical school, the dream has died. Shortly after we were married we began the process of working to get accepted to medical school. We have spent 6 1/2 years dreaming, planning, and working toward that goal. And now we have decided it is over. Brydon would have been an amazing doctor. His patients would have loved him and he would have touched so many lives for good. I always thought of how handsome he would look in the white coat and how I would love to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly stories of a physician's adventures. I couldn't wait to see him come home from doing something he truly loved. And so today we mourn the loss of that dream. There will be no handsome, man in a white coat saving lives.



Recently Brydon and I were approached by a family to adopt their baby. This not an option we had planned for right now in our lives. We knew the timing wasn't the best and the funds would be really hard to find, but we felt that it could be the answer to our prayers. Since we had tried all other options to have another baby, we thought this might be what we needed to do. We met with the birth parents and decided that they had a true sincere desire to give this baby girl a better life. The girl was due to arrive August 17th and we were working to move forward to be prepared for the expected arrival. Today as we were driving home from meeting with the adoption agency, we received a call that told us the baby had died. The mother had become ill and went into early labor. Doctors couldn't stop the contractions and a perfect, small 22 week old baby girl was born. She took a breath and then passed away. Her body was just not ready for this world yet. My heart aches for the poor birth mother that has been through so much in her short life. I can't imagine going through such an experience. And we mourn the passing of a baby girl that we had dreamed could have been ours. There will be no little girl in our home.



I read this quote today that sums up a lot of how these experiences have felt. I changed it a bit.

"Death. Death of a lot of things. The end of the Manning family as we had pictured 7 years ago. Death before life...before we even know our child, because she never existed. The hardest part of this kind of death is the fact that it is the death of a dream. There are no solid memories, no pictures, no things to remember. You can't remember your child's blonde hair or brown eyes, or her favorite toys or the way she laughed, or the way it felt to be pregnant with her. She never existed. There is no funeral, no burial, no grave to lay flowers on. The couple often grieves alone."

30 Here I Come

Well it is official. I am now 30 years old. Last night we officially celebrated my birthday since we were all sick on my actual birthday. It was a fun Valentine's/Birthday bash. We had our great friends the Christensen's over and Caleb got to spend the day with his Valentine Reese. He even got her a box of chocolates and a card. He informed her that he likes her and that he will be the dad and she will be the mom. They have got quite the life planned out for themselves. We had a really fun dinner with way too much yummy food and then Brydon made one of my favorite traditional birthday cakes. My family called it a strawberry short cake but Brydon says that there is nothing "short" about this cake. It is a layer cake filled with strawberry jello, frozen strawberries, Cool Whip, and marshmallows. It is quite the cake and I believe it is the cake I had on my 1st birthday. This is a Grandma H. speciality. We had a really fun night.


So now that I am "old" and 30, I have done a bit of reflecting on my life. I don't feel old at all. At least not as old as I thought I would at 30, but it did make me think about my life so far. So I decided to list all of my top accomplishments so far in life and some of the things I hope to do in the near future.

Best Accomplishments
1. Getting married in the temple to my soul mate
2. Having a beautiful and amazing son
3. Being nominated Lincoln Elementary's Hall of Fame Teacher of the year
4. Graduating from BYU with scholarships and making every toilet shrubbed, garbage dumped, carpet cleaned, and tear shed absolutely worth it
5. Taking Vocal lessons at BYU and getting to sing in a choir under the direction of Sis. Hall (only for one short summer semester but...uhhh.....amazing!)
6. Visiting the 2002 Salt Lake City Winter Olympic park with my grandpa
7. Spending 2 months in the Middle East....Israel, Egypt, & Jordan
8. Graduating in the top 10 of my High School class
9. Qualifying for the State Cross Country Meet on a fractured leg
10. Starring in the High School play as a Freshman
11. Winning the State Civic Oration Contest and getting to compete in the National Civic Oration Contest

Things I Want to Accomplish
1. Have more kids (still not ready to let go even though it seems impossible)
2. Learn how to play the guitar and own a guitar
3. Take vocal lessons again
4. Play a large role in a major community Musical production
5. Work for the Department of Education
6. Go to New York and Washington DC
7. Travel the world
8. Serve a Mission
9. Buy a yacht and sail the world
10. Learn how to scuba dive
11. Finish a marathon
12. Get my Masters degree

Ahhh....so excited for life!!!

Finally a Sunbeam!

The long, long awaited day to enter Sunbeams finally arrived!!! Caleb has been so excited to go to the big Primary but the big Primary change was postponed from the beginning of January until today. Although he was pretty excited to be big, he did finally ask the all important question, "Are there toys in Sunbeams?". He was disappointed to hear that there would not be any toys but still thought it would be fun to go. He can't wait to give us first talk in Sharing Time. (I'm wondering how you video tape something like that for the grandparents? hmmmmm...) The day was a bit rough. After being couped up in the house due to snow and illness, he was not his best self but did well making the transition. Of course he wanted to go all by himself and was sad when mom insisted she walk him to the primary room. He is a Mr. Independent who just can't wait to do everything ALL BY HIMSELF! I am so proud of our "big boy" Sunbeam!

Snow and More Snow

Well we have survived a lot of snow the past few days and it has most definitely made life adventurous. I can't believe how much snow we have gotten and how difficult it has made life. This city is just not meant to have a heavy snow fall. There is literally no where to put the snow. We had a lot of fun unburying our car the other day with our mop bucket (we don't own a snow shovel). It was a lot of work and required lots of digging with our hands but our car is now free. I also had to include some pictures of the Philadelphia streets on our way to church. It was an awful drive. Everyone parallel parks here and even if there is snow in the way, they still park on the street. Our favorite Philly snow thing is the saving of your spot with some random piece of furniture. I guess after you spend so much digging yourself out you don't want to share your spot on the street. It looks really strange though.

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